Begin Again

I haven’t written logs for the last few days. Looking back now, those days feel like a blur. Other than the lingering pain in my head, I can barely remember anything. Looking at the chart, I’ve been sleeping around three-ish hours on average. I had some personal stuff to manage and ended up staying up late. Even though, I could do better if I’d managed my time better. It feels like a big fumble, but I’m restarting the log from today instead of backfilling the logs.

Last evening, we worked from a pretty café. Despite planning to head home extra early, it was past 10 by the time we did. A few phone calls, some catching up, and a shower later, I was in bed just before midnight. I stayed on my phone until I fell asleep and woke up right before 7 AM. Getting out of bed has been incredibly hard these past few days. It feels like I’m sunk deep into the bed, with no energy to pull myself out. I’m a bit frustrated with myself for not managing sleep better, but I’m glad I pushed through the exhaustion and got up on time. I’d hate myself a lot more if I hadn’t.

According to the chart, I managed to get 5 hours and 45 minutes of sleep, which almost looks like double the time I’ve been getting lately. Still, I have the same sharp headache, and it seems to have extented into my neck today. I was hoping the extra sleep would make me feel better, but I’m not surprised. I’ve probably accumulated enough sleep deprivation to have this.

The day started well with a morning walk and a coffee. I’m trying to push through some work now, hoping the evening will be different, like I hope every day. I feel like I really need to show myself that I can sleep for a long period of time from early evening. Otherwise, I'll probably stop believing it's possible at all.